24 January 2011

FAT VAMPIRES?

The other day I learnt that vampires as we know them could not physically exist. Now, wait! Before you leave my blog henceforth, never to return, listen on!

I recently spoke with a scientist, who was an expert in blood and the transmission of blood-bourne diseases. Apparently blood alone isn't enough to sustain the body (even a dead one - although I guess it depends on what theory of vampirism you believe in...). Compared to a steak which contains 30% protein, blood only contains about 10%. There simply aren't enough nutrients in blood.

So I thought, ok, what about cannibalistic vampires who drink blood and eat flesh? (I see a story developing somewhere down the line!) This would surely fix the problem. Right? But then I was told by my scientist friend that the water content in blood is extremely high. Meaning that a blood drinking vampire would be very, very bloated with all the water.

Which naturally led me to think, what would our gorgeous vampire heros such as Edward Cullen and Stefan Salvatore look like with a serious bout of water retention?


Sadly it's not such a pretty sight. And so, the moral to the story..... there may be truth in science, but there certainly isn't any imagination!


As Oscar Wilde said, "Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative".

14 comments:

David Macaulay said...

wow - that's one scary fat necked vampire

Jamie Gibbs said...

I think that the whole Twilight saga would have been a lot better if the Cullen clan were a bunch of fatties, hehe.

The way I see the whole vampires thing working depends on if you go with the virus line or the necromancy line.

With the virus line, the 'vampire virus' that is transmitted would alter a person's physiology to the extent that blood would be able to be processed with maximum efficiency.

If you with the necromancy line, it's not so much the blood itself but the lifeforce within blood that keeps the magic sustaining the vampire in check.

It would still mean bloated vampires though, which would make an interesting story concept :)

Your friend sounds awesome - a hematologist with an academic interest in vampires is good in my books :D

Kristi The Book Faery said...

Now that brought a tear to my eye once I got done laughing :o]

Kinda takes the sexy mysterious aura away when you put it in those terms.

Thanks for the laugh; I needed it today!

I'll definitely be back :o]

Kristi

RosieC said...

Poor Edward! He should never look like that!

Yeah, I think scientists are too stuffy to have an awesome imagination. I'd rather have the imagination than live without a few beautiful vampires in my life :)

Small Review said...

LOL! I'm so glad you chose to show a picture of bloated Edward and not bloated Damon. :) I think I'm ok with vampires not being scientifically possible. I still like 'em.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, awesome blog.

Also visit my web blog; How to Golf

Anonymous said...

Hi there!
This is kind of off topic but I need some help from an established blog.

Is it tough to set up your own blog? I'm not very technical but I can figure things out pretty quick. I'm thinking about making my own
but I'm not sure where to start. Do you have any points or suggestions? With thanks

Stop by my site ... laser nail fungus

Anonymous said...

I'm curious to find out what blog system you're utilizing?

I'm having some small security issues with my latest blog and I would like to find something more safe. Do you have any suggestions?

my blog post :: Screen Toys
My webpage > Desktop Gadgets

Anonymous said...

Awesome information on Blogger: My Book Journey..
It is surely one of the most reliable that I�ve come across in
a very long time.

my website :: Gas Mileage

Anonymous said...

Insightful post.
You invariably come up with the ideal ones & Blogger: My
Book Journey is simply no different!

Also visit my site Shooting Games
Also see my website :: Shooting Games

Anonymous said...

Hello,
I really love your website! Great job on the
look of your website.
Thank you

Feel free to visit my webpage Best iPhone App

Anonymous said...

As ever, really fascinating and helpful article on Blogger:
My Book Journey..
Many thanks..

Look into my web blog :: How to Golf App

Anonymous said...

Do you have a spam issue on this blog; I also am a blogger,
and I was wanting to know your situation; many of us have created some nice methods and we are looking to trade techniques with
other folks, why not shoot me an email if you're interested.

Here is my web blog - vehicle app

Anonymous said...

As ever, so interesting and useful blog post on Blogger: My Book Journey.

.
Thanks..

Here is my webpage; Beginners Golf Putting